Saturday, December 22, 2012

Holiday Cheer

I've figured out that there are two kinds of people in this world: Those that think porcelain dolls are creepy, and those that haven't been to my Grandmother's house. Take this particular doll for example:

For the life of me, I can't come up with any interpretation of this pose which does not include the doll uttering, "Look mommy, I brought you the severed head of Santa Claus."

Also, before realizing my grandmother was Tim Burton, I had previously strolled down the Christmas isle of a local mercantile and spotted this stocking for sale:

I don't know, is it!

Actually, the fact that the sentence ends in an exclamation point instead of a question mark means the stocking writer already knew the sad truth that it was indeed too late. Not because of any misdeeds of the buyer, but because a lonely porcelain doll had already beheaded Santa and presented him as a trophy to my Grandma.

Merry Christmas

Monday, May 14, 2012

Shocking!

This machine is, hands down, the most fun you can have at Disneyland for 25 cents. But, since these are Disneyland prices, this quarter-taking electric shocking machine is located in the Penny Arcade.