96 Days Later

A mere 96 days after starting, I have apparently completed my Jedi training on Wii Fit.

As you can see in the above picture, today I achieved perfect balance, even with my eyes closed. At this point, as a newly confirmed balance master, it is not unreasonable to conclude that balancing such things as my breakfast, California's budget, or the Force will seem like child's play. As opposed to the video game I just played, which is clearly rated "E" for everyone.

party ideas

Having a major get-together and need a party theme? Perhaps you invited your boss over in a desperate attempt to smooth over last week's cake-fire incident? Or are you a wedding planner and the DJ just called to say a black helicopter crashed into her mobile entertainment command center and the only music she has left are some Ukrainian drinking songs on her iPod shuffle?

If you answered "yes" to any or none of the above questions, don't worry. Gorton's has got you covered.


Finally, entertainment made easy! Just think how excited your guests will be when you pull out the fried shrimp and announce to all that they can begin watching the platter for the next few hours. Who needs board games with their complicated rules specifically designed to prevent you from winning without competing against other players? Now, you can forget games, movie rentals, or actual conversation, because each and every Gorton's shrimp is packed full of enough excitement-power to entertain even the most vegetarian of guests. Buy some today and be the life of any party!

Gorton's: trusted since 1849.*
*Before 1849 they were thought to be secretly working for the Spanish crown.

From our Good Friends at Kashi

I've always thought these two happy people on the box were dating, but it turns out they're just good friends. I owe somebody five bucks now.

Why do they make you choose?

Pig races or literacy? Someday, the greatest English-language novel of all time will begin with this very same dilemma.

Caution

Use caution near the edge.

But once you've already fallen off, feel free to wave your hands around and enjoy the flight.

At least that's the message I took from this sign.

Home Again

After being gone on two weeks' worth of space and/or Hawaiian themed adventures, at least I get a proper welcome sign. Thanks for following along via the magic of the internet, or whatever technology historians* will be using to access this data in the future.

*Historians, when you get the chance, please tell the Hawaiian robot space-taxi drivers that Kevin says "hi".

Cafe

It's possible this sounds like a more appealing cafe when it's translated into Korean, but somehow I doubt it.

On the plus side, they do have karaoke.